March 9, 2012

When a 99 Year Old Lawyer Comes to Argue Case in Court


A Day in a Courtroom


As the case called out
A 99 Years old senior advocate
Entered the court room
To argue a case of great importance

As the courtroom was crowded
The persons carrying him on a stretcher
Took some time in bringing him
In front of the judges

Judges looked sadly
Once a great criminal lawyer,
Now lying on a stretcher

Counsel began his arguments,

“My Lords, it is undisputed fact on records
that there is absolutely no evidence
to show that any of the eye witnesses
had got eyes!!

The question of believing them
Does not arise at all”

“Have you raised this question
in your cross examinations?”
The Judge asked

“Defense does not need to raise
this question in cross examination
unless prosecution had asserted in chief examination
that the eye witnesses had  got eyes”
The counsel humbly submitted

The Judge changed the track,

“Do you know scope of Art.136?
Have you ever read Art.136?”
(Judge wanted to say that under Art.136 petitions,
The cannot re-look evidences)

“Lots of times!
My Lords! lots of time!

"In fact I had the privilege
Of explaining scope of this Article
To many of Your Lordship’s predecessors.”
The counsel continued,

“Art.136,226 are pari materia
with Sec.125 of Cr.P.C.
They provide for maintenance
For Supreme Court Lawyers' 
wife, children and parents”

The counsel thus explained the scope
Of Art.136 and Art.226 and also
the basic object of legal system!

The Judge turned to brother judge and asked,
“How many lawyers we have in Supreme Court?”

“11,500” Brother Judge replied

“How many SLPs should we hear
to maintain their families?”
Judge asked

“2,80,000 per annum”
replied brother judge

“And how many SLPs should we hear
if we want them to live a decent life?”
Judge asked again

“4,60,000 per annum”
brother judge calculated.

“Can we not declare 10,000 lawyers as surplus
and direct high courts and district courts to absorb them?”
the Judge asked

“They won’t be absorb 10,000.”
Brother Judge explained,
“There is already scarcity of cases
in District Courts and High Courts.
The lawyers are committing suicides
For want of cases!”

The Judge turned to Court Master
And said, “Issue Notice in this case”

The Counsel further argued,
“The question whether Art.136 and 226
also provide for maintenance of  Supreme Judge’s 
wife, children and parents, is still pending 
before 13 Judges Bench of this Hon’ble Court

“Is that so?”
Judge asked brother Judge

“I don’t know
I am new here!”
Brother Judge replied

The Judge turned to Court Master
And said, “Issue notice for bail also in this case”

Counsel further argued,
“Kindly give early date.
I am suffering from dementia,
Delirium, arthritis,
And many other ailments
And my 99 Years License to Argue
Is about to expire!”

The Judge ordered early date

The counsel thanked the judges
For allowing him to argue from a stretcher
As he could not stand up on his feet.

“It is al’right.
But you should not have come.
You are embarrassing this Court”
The Judge said

Counsel replied,
“All my life I have used
only ACE method of arguing”

“What is that?”
asked the judge

Counsel replied,
“Abuse the Judge,
Confuse the Judge, and
Embarrass the Judge”
The Counsel explained his
ACE method of arguing.

Judge turned to Court Master
And said, “Call the next matter”


(2)

In the mountains of Tibet

Younger Lama asked Elder Lama,
“Is it true that
Art.136 and 226 are pari materia
With Sec.125 of Cr.P.C.?”

“Yes. They are Mokita Pari Materia”
replied elder Lama

“What does word Mokita mean?”
Younger Lama asked

“It means ‘things which everyone knows
but no one speaks’ ”
replied elder Lama

Haresh Raichura



Note: Inspired after hearing a very respected and aged senior advocate in a High Court. He expressed regrets and said he had to come to Court because of pressure from a relative. I have no disrespect for this senior advocate. The poem is wholly imaginary.

2. Mokita is New Guinea buzz word as per my understanding

3. For More such stories author's book "Tomato Soup for Lawyers and Judges"